


Another Goat

by tuesday



Category: Ready or Not (2019)
Genre: Animal Death, Attempted Murder, Background Relationships, Canon Compliant, Canon Relationships, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Family, Gen, Minor Character Death, Murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 13:31:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21209354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuesday/pseuds/tuesday
Summary: When Alex was six years old, he slit the throat of a goat.





	Another Goat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Snickfic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snickfic/gifts).

> Recip, thank you for giving this a home! If you change your mind, please let me know, and it can go back on the market. <3

When Alex was six years old, he slit the throat of a goat. It was one of the goats from the stable. All told, he'd spent hours over the years sitting outside its stall, staring at it and its weird goat eyes, wondering if it was as soft as it looked. He wasn't allowed to pet the goats. They weren't pets, his father told him. Don't get attached, his mother told him. Daniel held his hand and looked away, staring at the stall door.

Alex touched the goat's throat first. It trembled under his fingers. Its flanks heaved with every breath. It was tied down and tired from fighting the rope. It couldn't escape. It couldn't hurt him. It was the most harmless creature Alex had ever met. Even Emilie used her teeth and nails when she was throwing a tantrum. The goat's fur was coarse. It wasn't soft at all.

The knife was unexpectedly heavy, nothing like the plastic ones Alex's dad had him, Daniel, and Emilie practice with. The edges were sharp. Alex knew to keep them away from his skin. The goat had screamed when it was tied down, but it was quiet now, all panting breaths and thudding heartbeat dancing under Alex's fingers. Other than those last noises of life, it didn't make a sound as Alex sunk the blade in and pulled across in one easy movement.

Blood spurted across the table. It was warm on Alex's wrist and hand. His mother's eyes were bright with some unnamed emotion. His dad looked proud. Emilie was drowsing where she sat, and Alex wanted to be asleep, too. Daniel looked away.

Alex's dad's hand was warm and gentle on the top of his head. He said, "I'm so proud of you."

Alex was six years old. The goat had been born the same year he was. It bled out on the table until its harsh breaths stopped, until that dancing heartbeat stilled. 

Daniel wasn't looking. Alex wanted him to look.

When the goat was dead, they threw it in the goat pit.

*

When Alex was twelve, one of the new servants didn't take well to learning he was in the employ of a cult. He was going to go to the authorities; he was going to go to the press. He wanted to take Alex and Daniel and Emilie away. He said no family should live like this. No children should have to grow up this way.

Alex didn't slit his throat; it was Aunt Helene's turn.

The goat pit held more than the bodies of goats.

*

For a while, Alex agreed with that dead servant. He didn't want children. He didn't want them to grow up this way. Emilie and Finch's were horror enough. Let them carry on the family name if someone had to.

*

On the morning after his wedding, when it was in some ways still his wedding night, Alex bound his bride to the table. His mother was unable to look on with any emotion. Daniel's disapproval was gone now. There was only his dad, who looked tired. There was only Emilie, drifting on whatever concoction she'd taken now. There was only Aunt Helene, sharp as the blade Alex held in his hands. There were only the in-laws Alex had never counted as family, no matter that Le Bail had accepted them.

There was only Grace, staring up at him with wide eyes in a blood-stained wedding dress. 

When he touched her throat, he could feel her heartbeat. Her chest heaved with every breath she took. Her hair was stiff with blood and sweat. She was alive, so very alive—and Alex's mother and Daniel were dead.

In the end, Alex thought before he brought the blade down, she was nothing more than another goat.

**Author's Note:**

> Not trying to imply canon divergence, just taking us right up to the moment Alex commits.


End file.
